Saturday, 15 April 2017

Saturday This and That . . .



The only time I get to see my grandchildren is in photographs and so I was just thrilled this morning to see this fabulous photograph of our Amanda, with Maryn and Cameron. Such a happy photograph. I love it. I recognise the sofa, so they are at the ex's for Easter.  I know I am a bit biased, but I think I have the most beautiful grandchildren in the world.  You probably do too!


Gabriel and Luke are my oldest son's two lads.  I love face-timing them. Over the years I have gotten to see them opening their Christmas Gifts, Birthday Gifts, and just saying hello.  I appreciate the time and effort taken to afford me this opportunity!   These boys know me and love me.  It's great!


Then there are my middle son's boys, the ice cream boys.  Jon, Josh and Jacob,  The three "J's".  Over the years I have also gotten to see them on facetime numerous times and talk to them, etc.  They know and love me also.  Anytime I have been home to Canada my two sons Anthony and Doug always make an extra effort for me to see their boys, and them too, of course!  That means the world to me.

I am so grateful that we have modern technology and that I am able to interact with my grandsons in this way.  I wish it could be the same with Maryn and Cameron, but for now I am blessed to see lovely photographs like this now and again, and I am grateful for that. I wish I had the money to be able to fly over there to see my family more often, or to maybe even fly them over here, but life is what it is. I am the one who chose to move away.  Nobody to blame but myself.


I have someone coming to clean today and so you can imagine what I was doing yesterday . . .  yep, cleaning.  Tell me I am not the only one who would do this?   Whew!  I was freaking out a bit because I would never want anyone to think I am dirty.  Because of my arthritis I have a hard time getting down on my hands and knees to do things. I can get down, but then I can't get up.  I know.  I ask myself how did I get to this point also.  I do get up eventually, but it takes a lot of manipulation to do so. Todd tried to do things, but he's not been well either and lets face it . . .  He's a man.  Men don't see things the same way.   I hired a cleaner to come and do some of the heavy stuff before our company arrives next week.  I am fretting a bit already because our house is so small in comparison to what they are used to, and I was fretting big time about things like the kitchen and bathroom.  The two rooms which get used the most and which I struggle to get up and down to deep clean.  Hence, the cleaner.  But then, I didn't want the cleaner to think we were dirty and so I was cleaning yesterday, LOL. I know, silly me.


I've been reading a book entitle The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox.  Its really good and it keeps smacking me in the face with aha moments. I am such a perfectionist and I struggle with personal issues and family issues. (As you all know!) This book is so amazing and has been such a help to me in those areas.  Last night I was reading . . .

"The list of struggles seems endless. Obviously, many people live their lives far from situations they planned and hoped for when they were children. This gives us all the more reason to turn to the Saviour, whose message is not just "Come unto me," but "Come as you are." He doesn't say, "Go get your acto together and then come back when you fit the mold." He says in essence, "Let's start right where you are, and go from there."  Christ doesn't wait to offer blessings until our families all look like the happy groups whose pictures appear in the Ensign magazine or in TV commercials. He doesn't require os to fit any mold before He is willing to mold us."

I often struggle because I don't have the family situation that I always wanted to have and that I see in so many others.  I often feel a failure because I didn't, and I don't measure up to the ideal.  It often causes me pain and grief.  Reading this (and a whole bunch of other stuff) last night brought me some comfort as to my situation. I love it when you pray for help/enlightenment, and then it comes.


Something else which I have struggled with is forgiveness . . .  both for myself and for others.   This talk, The Healing Ointment of Forgiveness, was given in the April 2016 conference by Elder Kevin R Duncan.  It  was instrumental in my finally being able to forgive myself and others.  And I think I have truly been able to do that now, although the hurt from certain things will never really go away.  I am only human after all, but I can and I have forgiven.  I think I listened to that talk every morning while I was putting my makeup on for about six months, and little by little I found myself able to put aside things which had been troubling me, which I had been carrying on my back for a very long time.  I never sought the talk out. I just stumbled upon it.  It was not a talk that had stood out for me when I first heard it, but then one day when I was feeling particularly wounded, I just started listening to it and bang  . . . it slapped me, and so I listened to it again and again and I learned to . . .  just  . . .  let . . . go . . .



I baked another Easter Cake in my effort to have a pretty cake to put on the blog for Easter.  And again, failure.  This recipe is one I have had in my Big Blue Binder for years and years.  From the Sunmaid raisin people for an Easter Basket Cake.  Despite my best efforts the cake stuck to the pan, the raisins all sunk to the bottom and I ended up with a less than presentable cake.  It tastes lovely, but alas, I don't feel it is blog worthy, photographically speaking . . . like the lamb.  I will have to come up with something else for tomorrow.

And with that I best leave you and get on with my day.  The cleaner is coming at 9 and I need to be fluffed and puffed by then!

A thought to carry with you through today  . . .

.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *.˛.° ˛°. . 
To heal a wound,
     you need to stop touching it.
              ~Unknown  .° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •


Spiritual Enlightenment



In The English Kitchen today  . . .  Hot Cross Bun French Toast.  This was seriously delicious!

Have a great Saturday!  I am going to be trying my best  to be nonchalent while someone else cleans my house!  Yikes!  Don't forget . . .


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And I do too!


6 comments:

Suze said...

Good Morning Marie. People who love you, love you as you are. Your home is cosy. Chester is a beautiful city. Everything will be fine, I do understand the cleaning for the cleaner thing. I have to clean so often and never seem to get ahead.

I have spent my evening finishing Connor's Easter gift. He did not want an egg so I made him a quilt. I will put up a photo on Facebook as Pip could not wait for him to have it.

God bless your Saturday with love and hope.

Deb said...

Beautiful thoughts on forgiveness, repentance and the atonement. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone in your feelings, believe me. There are many of us out here who also experience family pain, disappointment, guilt, etc. Where would we be if not for the atonement. I love reading your blog. Hope all goes well with your company. I totally understand about wanting the house to look clean, but having trouble getting down and around to deep clean! Enjoy your weekend and have a wonderful, peaceful Easter!

La Table De Nana said...

I see such a resemblance between you and Amanda..
Oh Amanda..please open up your mother's heart to your mom.
I don't have one..and have wanted one for 44 years..

All the children are so cute Marie:)

The cake looks just right..you are inspecting it..oh well..I am so guilty of that too:)

Hope the cleaner does a FAB job for you..fab job..so deserved!!!

Marie Rayner said...

I am sure Connor will love it Suzan! Thanks so much for your kind words! Happy Easter and God bless. xoxo

Thanks Deb. It is a fabulous book, The Continuous Atonement. I am getting so much out of it! Happy Easter and God bless! xoxo

She did a fantastic job Monique. I am so pleased. Money well spent! I am pedantic about what I do for the blog Monique. There are so many out there that have exceptional photography skills. I am not a photographer, in fact I am rather lazy in that, but what you see is what it looks like. I do like to present things that are appealing visually though and I didn't think this quite passed my critical eye! Happy Easter and God bless! xoxo

Sybil said...

Dear Marie, today's blog had Mary and I smiling at the idea of you cleaning before the cleaner comes, we have Lyn cleaning for us and we do exactly the same we always try to,tidy up before she comes in ! I am so pleased that at long last you have started to forgive yourself for what is past is past There are always two sides to every situation and usually we can only see it from our side, I think it's when we see it from the others side we can truly start to forgive and feel forgiven....( that sounds daft ! But you and I are so alike I think you know where I'm coming from !!) ...your cake did have me laughing...but it's not the look that matters although to some it might, it's the taste and despite fruit falling to bottom etc bet it taste delicious..".......we laughed also at the idea of how our homes will look like to our visitors....well at least you have met them so that's one up on me...I don't dare to think what they will make of my wee park home ( posh name for residential caravan )
However I then think of the warm welcome we will give them and I assure myself that will ....hopefully....outweigh any negatives. It will be the same with you I'm sure....Hope the cleaner was as good as you expect her to be....night night. God Bless xx

Marie Rayner said...

Thanks Sybil, you do make me smile! Knowing John and Lura as I do, I know they will love both of our homes. They are very humble and loving people. It is my pride which is causing me all my fretting about things! I am so excited to be able to see them again and for you to finally meet them! You are going to love them! And I know they are going to love you! Todd has never met them either, so he is also in for a real treat! The cleaner was fabulous! She did not want all the money I had for her, but I insisted because I felt she deserved it and I had already budgeted for that amount! Happy Easter dear friend. Love you! xxoo