The only time I get to see my grandchildren is in photographs and so I was just thrilled this morning to see this fabulous photograph of our Amanda, with Maryn and Cameron. Such a happy photograph. I love it. I recognise the sofa, so they are at the ex's for Easter. I know I am a bit biased, but I think I have the most beautiful grandchildren in the world. You probably do too!
Gabriel and Luke are my oldest son's two lads. I love face-timing them. Over the years I have gotten to see them opening their Christmas Gifts, Birthday Gifts, and just saying hello. I appreciate the time and effort taken to afford me this opportunity! These boys know me and love me. It's great!
Then there are my middle son's boys, the ice cream boys. Jon, Josh and Jacob, The three "J's". Over the years I have also gotten to see them on facetime numerous times and talk to them, etc. They know and love me also. Anytime I have been home to Canada my two sons Anthony and Doug always make an extra effort for me to see their boys, and them too, of course! That means the world to me.
I am so grateful that we have modern technology and that I am able to interact with my grandsons in this way. I wish it could be the same with Maryn and Cameron, but for now I am blessed to see lovely photographs like this now and again, and I am grateful for that. I wish I had the money to be able to fly over there to see my family more often, or to maybe even fly them over here, but life is what it is. I am the one who chose to move away. Nobody to blame but myself.
I have someone coming to clean today and so you can imagine what I was doing yesterday . . . yep, cleaning. Tell me I am not the only one who would do this? Whew! I was freaking out a bit because I would never want anyone to think I am dirty. Because of my arthritis I have a hard time getting down on my hands and knees to do things. I can get down, but then I can't get up. I know. I ask myself how did I get to this point also. I do get up eventually, but it takes a lot of manipulation to do so. Todd tried to do things, but he's not been well either and lets face it . . . He's a man. Men don't see things the same way. I hired a cleaner to come and do some of the heavy stuff before our company arrives next week. I am fretting a bit already because our house is so small in comparison to what they are used to, and I was fretting big time about things like the kitchen and bathroom. The two rooms which get used the most and which I struggle to get up and down to deep clean. Hence, the cleaner. But then, I didn't want the cleaner to think we were dirty and so I was cleaning yesterday, LOL. I know, silly me.
I've been reading a book entitle The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox. Its really good and it keeps smacking me in the face with aha moments. I am such a perfectionist and I struggle with personal issues and family issues. (As you all know!) This book is so amazing and has been such a help to me in those areas. Last night I was reading . . .
"The list of struggles seems endless. Obviously, many people live their lives far from situations they planned and hoped for when they were children. This gives us all the more reason to turn to the Saviour, whose message is not just "Come unto me," but "Come as you are." He doesn't say, "Go get your acto together and then come back when you fit the mold." He says in essence, "Let's start right where you are, and go from there." Christ doesn't wait to offer blessings until our families all look like the happy groups whose pictures appear in the Ensign magazine or in TV commercials. He doesn't require os to fit any mold before He is willing to mold us."
I often struggle because I don't have the family situation that I always wanted to have and that I see in so many others. I often feel a failure because I didn't, and I don't measure up to the ideal. It often causes me pain and grief. Reading this (and a whole bunch of other stuff) last night brought me some comfort as to my situation. I love it when you pray for help/enlightenment, and then it comes.
Something else which I have struggled with is forgiveness . . . both for myself and for others. This talk, The Healing Ointment of Forgiveness, was given in the April 2016 conference by Elder Kevin R Duncan. It was instrumental in my finally being able to forgive myself and others. And I think I have truly been able to do that now, although the hurt from certain things will never really go away. I am only human after all, but I can and I have forgiven. I think I listened to that talk every morning while I was putting my makeup on for about six months, and little by little I found myself able to put aside things which had been troubling me, which I had been carrying on my back for a very long time. I never sought the talk out. I just stumbled upon it. It was not a talk that had stood out for me when I first heard it, but then one day when I was feeling particularly wounded, I just started listening to it and bang . . . it slapped me, and so I listened to it again and again and I learned to . . . just . . . let . . . go . . .
I baked another Easter Cake in my effort to have a pretty cake to put on the blog for Easter. And again, failure. This recipe is one I have had in my Big Blue Binder for years and years. From the Sunmaid raisin people for an Easter Basket Cake. Despite my best efforts the cake stuck to the pan, the raisins all sunk to the bottom and I ended up with a less than presentable cake. It tastes lovely, but alas, I don't feel it is blog worthy, photographically speaking . . . like the lamb. I will have to come up with something else for tomorrow.
And with that I best leave you and get on with my day. The cleaner is coming at 9 and I need to be fluffed and puffed by then!
A thought to carry with you through today . . .
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•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*.˛.° ˛°. .
To heal a wound,
you need to stop touching it.
~Unknown .° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
In The English Kitchen today . . . Hot Cross Bun French Toast. This was seriously delicious!
Have a great Saturday! I am going to be trying my best to be nonchalent while someone else cleans my house! Yikes! Don't forget . . .
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And I do too!